


Forever

by bkeenan_1



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: BDSM, Blood and Gore, Explicit Language, Fluff and Smut, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-13
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-20 19:22:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,190
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30009753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bkeenan_1/pseuds/bkeenan_1
Summary: "When I'm gone will you still love me?" I quietly ask the man lying next to me.He looks me in my eyes and with a chaste kiss responds with, "I'll love you forever Kol."
Relationships: Levi Ackerman/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	1. Captain Levi

**Kol’s POV:**

The cold air wakes me up. I sit in bed for a minute before I have to move. I sit and think about the past few months. How I became a valued member of the Levi Squad. How Levi pays extra attention to me. How Captain Levi watches me so closely I feel like he’s mentally undressing me. How no one knows what I want him to do to me. How no one knows how I want him to touch my skin.

I sigh and stretch before moving to sit on the edge of my bed. I hear birds chirp and it soothes me. I think animals are quite adorable; even the birds. I sit there and listen to them and slowly gain the strength to move out of bed and get ready for today.

I walk to the shower and strip down. I’m not oblivious, I know I’m attractive I just don’t think I’m all that. I do admire myself sometimes. Just a little bit to raise my confidence but then the body dysmorphia kicks in, but for now I look at my naked body in the mirror and feel good about myself. I’m tan, muscular but not bulging, have a slim figure with a bigger butt then most men. I notice how my hair compliments my eyes. The dirty blonde and my brown eyes. Steam starts to come out of the shower so I step in.

I rinse myself down making sure to get myself clean everywhere, I take extra time to clean my ass. Running the soap and body scrub down my body so that I smell and _taste_ delicious. I step out of the hot shower and walk out of the bathroom with a towel on my waist.

As usual I get my belts and suit on, and go to the courtyard to start practicing early. The courtyard is about 3 acres filled with grass and dirt - depending on the fighting you’d practice that day. The flowers and animals that were in the garden were beautiful. They add life to the courtyard. The roses - red, white, and pink rise on a line of bushes and sunflowers and other colorful flowers bloom around the rest of the courtyard - making it look like the garden of Eden.

I go to the dummy combat dolls in the training hall by the courtyard and begin practicing my hand to hand combat. I lack expertise in this area. You'd think I'd be good at this by now. The way I grew up and the way that the world treated me made me mentally strong and physically strong but I still struggle with fighting with people. I had joined the survey corps 6 months ago now and had quickly excelled through the ranks and was requested by Captain Levi to join his squad. I couldn't refuse for many reasons.

Firstly I needed the release that fighting gives me. It’s like a drug for me. The rush and the adrenaline make me feel like I’m on cloud 9. Secondly, I wanted to train one on one with the world's greatest soldier - Captain Levi, he would make me be able to be stronger than I ever was before so nothing will ever hurt me again. And thirdly, I felt like I fit in here. I never fit in anywhere for countless reasons including the fact that I was violent, harsh, and cold. Of course, I'd never let anyone see how I was really feeling because I've been hurt and fucked with enough times to know that you don't let people in when you have so much to lose. I am a good person, at least I think I am. I might be harsh but I was always there for the people in my life no matter what and even though I always ended up paying a price for it - I would never regret doing so.

Back to the topic at hand though, it was nearly sunrise and therefore close to breakfast. I hated eating breakfast because I never needed to eat much but apparently it was required to eat 2-3 meals a day - to keep the soldier strong or something idk. I bring my heart rate down and walk over to the mess hall. I arrive before everyone else and take a seat. As I sit down soldiers start swarming in, yelling, running to get food, and being - quite frankly speaking - fucking annoying. I have friends but I don't talk unless I feel like it because people who constantly talk piss me off. I guess it’s a pet peeve of mine but I find that unnecessary talking just irritates me immensely. I eat an apple and some bread and wait for everyone to at least show up to our table before I excused myself to leave. Just as everyone show’s up we have a small conversation. Usually, the people who sit with me are Eren, Connie, Ymir, Sasha, and sometimes Jean. There are others but they aren’t worth mentioning.

When I felt done talking about stupid shit I say goodbye to Connie, Sasha, and Ymir. The rest are in their own bubble so I don’t bother saying bye. Ymir and I are strangely close. We are cold but we both have feelings deep down even though we'd never show it. It's like we understood each other and therefore worked better together. Plus she was a bitch, and I’m a bitch too so it’s nice to have someone that thinks like me.

When I leave the mess hall I pass Captain Levi and nod to show respect toward my commanding officer. He glances at me for longer than I expect and nods and walks on. I felt butterflies. Fuck. I’m such a fucking baby. 

I push the thoughts of Levi away and I go deal with my personal hobby which might be dark but I enjoy it immensely. I may suck at hand-to-hand combat but I've never met a single person who is better at using weapons than me. Except for maybe Captain Levi but I'd say we were evenly matched. I would never show him my skills because then he'd wonder where I learned this and get suspicious of my past and I couldn't have that. I have grown a lot since the person I used to be and no one will ever see the old me - ever again.

I go to the old shed next to the castle and grab my things. I start with an easy workout with throwing knives and archery then move on to what I've been working on recently. I was incredibly skilled at using swords and was perfecting my technique which had been influenced by the Titans I've killed. I then put everything away and go inside to get ready for another day of training. Of course, though I accidentally showed up late to sparring and was caught by Captain Levi.

I walk slowly into the courtyard hoping to not cause a scene. I try to walk over to Connie when I hear Captain bark, "Why the fuck are you late?" at me. I just turn towards him and try to look as innocent as possible so I don’t get in more trouble. I don’t want to be punished today. "You were the first one out of the mess hall and you somehow show up late AGAIN?"

I don’t have an excuse so I simply say, "Sorry Captain. I wasn't paying attention to the time, I will take whatever punishment you see fit." I bite my tongue and pray that he won’t make me do some annoying fucking chore. I hated bowing down like this, but I didn't have a choice. Either I go back to how I used to live or I bite my tongue, swallow my pride, and do as I was told. 

Captain Levi glares at me and walks towards me, everyone looks over at us silent, and I just stand there. I was never intimidated by Levi but I still show my respect for our Captain as I am still under his jurisdiction. The captain stops right in front of me and stares up at me. We barely have a height gap - he's 5'2 and I'm 5'6 so he didn't have to look up much. I grin slightly as I see the short man look up at me. It’s hard to believe that the world’s greatest soldier is as small as a 6th grader.

My attention zips back to the Captain as he says, "You will clean my office and my room until it is spotless. If it is anything less you will be punished even further. Brat." Before giving me a chance to respond he walks away and looks at everyone as if to signal that they should get back to sparring immediately. I’m a little infuriated. Not because I got punished but because he makes that whole scene and walks away without letting me speak.

I curse at Levi under my breath and he pauses. Shit. I walk towards Connie to begin sparring so I hopefully don't have to deal with more of this today. I should’ve just shut the fuck up and started training. I don't know how the hell he gets so close, so fast but he grabs my arm, turns me around, and kicks me to the ground. I’m fucking pissed but I bite my tongue, stand up, and ask politely what I did to upset him. His hearing is pretty fucking good to have heard me.

Levi stares at me with that stoic fucking face. "You and I are going to be sparring today. Since you seem to care so little about sparring by showing up late to training and disrespecting your Captain." Fuck. I have no fucking chance but I also don’t have the choice to not fight. I just hope that he knocks me down quickly because I do not feel like getting kicked again. The pain didn't hurt I just hate feeling so weak and useless. Nonetheless, I get into my fighting stance and prepare for him to swing first because I've already made the stupid mistake of trying to get the first hit, I always ended up on the floor faster. Everyone seems to be looking at us trying to see what’s going to go down and that makes me angry and distracted. But I have to keep my emotions in check because the last thing I need is to cause a scene.

Levi moves so fucking fast. One moment he's in front of me and the next he's making my head shake from his fist. I easily get back to my fighting stance and swing first. He grabs my arm, pulls me forward, and knees me in the stomach. It doesn’t hurt but it made me mad so I used the arm that Levi pulled to pull him back and kick his legs out from under him. He almost falls but just lands on his feet again. Skidding dirt back. I really hope he doesn’t kick me to the dirt. I’d prefer the grass. I hate dirt.

I’m getting annoyed and I want to stop and go on with my day so I just throw a weak punch and let myself get knocked to the ground. I 'try' to get up so he doesn't think I'm purposely trying to lose but the next thing I know he's pinning my arms to the ground and his face is inches from my own. My breath hitches and I feel tingles throughout my body. I feet heat rise to my face. Levi is so close to me and all I want him to do is touch me slowly, starting from my lips to my inner thighs. In a flash disappointingly, he gets off after proving his point and I go to sit down. I get hard thinking about how close Levi was. His hot breath on my skin makes my toes curl in pleasure.

Jesus, I hate the effect he has on me. I mentioned earlier why I joined the survey corps but forgot to mention another deciding factor. I joined the Levi Squad because I had taken a liking towards Captain Levi. But I would never express these feelings out loud - to anyone. And most importantly I wouldn't stake my future over a crush on my commanding officer.

I just wish I didn't have to fall for him...

I wish I didn't have to fall for Captain Levi.


	2. I Want You

Kol's POV:  
I wake up in the morning feeling good. I feel like today is going to be great. I don’t usually have a gut feeling like this so I get out of bed faster than usual and take a quick shower. Just in case I shave my ass. You never know what could happen.

I go to the mess hall and talk to my friends, a lot more than usual. They don’t say anything but I can tell they’re surprised. I never talk a lot, let alone smile. I even get Ymir to laugh which scares everyone except me; I laugh slightly. I notice Eren looking extra fine today. I need to let loose. Maybe I’d get with Eren for the night. We’ve done it before. Most of the people in our group don’t care about gender, they just like sex and seeing as we will all probably die before 30 - we might as well try something new. I’ve never gone all the way with anyone except, Eren, Connie, Sasha, and Hanji. I would get with all of them again except for maybe Hanji. They wanted to try weird things that even I was weirded out by, and I’m into a lot of kinks.

We have another day of training and we are supposed to be learning and memorizing the new formations for the upcoming expedition so we leave the mess hall and go to the classroom. I walk into the classroom - on time this time. I sit down near the front due to my consistent behavioral issues - according to Captain Levi. He does not trust me to sit in the back. I don't know why, I am always a model cadet I just had issues arriving on time. I think he likes pissing me off and making me sit up front, what a fucking sadist.

Captain Levi’s taking longer than usual to get in so I decide to talk to the people next to me. It just happens to be Connie and Sasha who I’m pretty sure are fucking on the low. I kind of lose interest when Sasha starts talking about some recipe she wants to make but the Captain won’t let her near the kitchen; which is pretty smart if you ask me. Sasha would eat everything in seconds. Kind of surprised how she never gains weight. Where does that food go? I shake my head and focus on the board in front of me.

Though I don’t like the front, sometimes it doesn’t bother me considering Levi would be so close to me. I start zoning out thinking about Levi unbuttoning my shirt, his lips trailing down my jaw to my ear while nibbling on it and whispering things in my ear. I see him going lower and now kissing on my neck while playing with my nipples. My neck is raw from the amount of hickeys he’s giving me and I have to stifle back a moan. His hand drops down to the top of my pants and slowly undoes the -. I snap back to reality when I hear the door shut and Captain Levi walks in and begins drawing the battle formations on the board.

20 minutes in and I had the entire formation memorized. I’m just sitting there while Levi explains to the other cadets a deeper understanding of the formation. I thought the cadets were taking a while because they lack brains, but they do have the muscle to make up for it. I think you need both to be a great soldier - just like Captain Levi. I start to picture Levi walking up to me and kissing me softly on the lips. Everything feels right to me in that moment. I let my hands travel south towards the belt holding his pants up and slowly remove his belt, taking satisfaction in him looking down at me with him biting his lip as I tease his clothed cock. I feel him pushing me on the bed and licking down my jawline to my neck and then slowly sucking and biting along my neck giving me a string of hickeys. I jolt up when I feel Levi hit the desk I'm at. Shit.

I really don't feel like dealing with this today. I sit up straight and look at Levi and think of ways to explain myself for my disrespectful behavior. I stand up to give my respect and start to speak. "Levi sorry for zoning out, I had the formation memorized and-". Fuck. I just saw my mistake. I was so focused on coming up with an excuse I completely forgot that he was my Captain. He looks furious. I then try to say, "Sorry I meant to say Captain Levi." He smirks and looks me in the eye, and says, "You will address me as Captain Levi, sir."

I felt my blood boil. I hated being talked down to and he was really pushing it. I don't know what came over me but instead of saying "Yes, sir." I clench my jaw, look him in his cold grey eyes, lean forward slightly to meet his eye level and say, "No. I do not address anyone as 'sir'. I respect you as my Captain but I will not call you sir. You are our leader but you are still a man just like the rest of us. You do not get to be addressed as if you were royalty or above my class - because you are not." I don't know why I got so mad over something so stupid but seeing as I already held my ground I can't go and take it back, I just have to stand by what I said and take the punishment. He's quiet for a moment.

I was about to sit down when he grabs me by my shirt and throws me against the wall. He then kicked me right under my rib cage and knocks me to the floor. That’s going to bruise. He drags me to the front of the class and says, "You will call me 'sir'. You will not rest until you address me as sir." I simply said, "No I will not. You can beat me all you want but I will not give you the satisfaction of me submitting to you." He punches me directly on my mid cheek and my jaw starts to bleed.

He tells the class to memorize the formation and he drags me by my neck to his study. It’s getting hard to breathe so I keep hitting his hand and we finally arrive at his office. He lifts me up by my neck and then he lets me drop to the floor. I took heavy breaths and stood up. He knocked me down quick. I know I’m going to wake up tomorrow looking like shit. I didn't feel the pain but I wasn't giving up now so I just sit there and take it. After each strike, he asks me if I'm ready to address him as 'sir'. Each time I say no. The more he hits me, the more I don’t want to call him ‘sir’.

The hits get harder and more creative. He kicks me in my stomach until I’m coughing up blood - a lot of it. He punches the middle of my neck which only knocks the air out of me for a second and make my throat a little sore. He even punches me straight next to my eye socket which makes me get a small headache. I already know that that is going to bruise badly. Fuck.

I sit bloody and bruised on the used to be, spotless floor of Captain Levi's office. I have dried blood on the outside of my mouth - fresh blood inside. The metallic flavor becomes disgusting at one point so I spit it out. He strikes me harder than before because he thinks I was trying to spit at him. I wasn’t. Though I begin to get sexual thoughts. I think of me between his legs, spitting on his throbbing, hard member while he grips my hair, looking down at me with lust in his cold, grey eyes. I look back at him, pushing the thoughts out of my mind.

Finally, he stops. He squats down in front of me and looks at me with curiosity but then his usual emotionless, cold face. He starts speaking to me, "Do you not feel pain? I've hit you enough times that even Eren Jaeger would be pissing himself right now. I'd make you clean but I already know you enjoy it, I'm not going to cut you because I still need you on my squad... I don't know what to do."

He grabs my chin forcing me to look into his eyes. I glare at him as he lets my jaw go and I go off. "No I don't feel the 'pain' you are trying to give me. I've been through enough shit to build up my tolerance, and yes cleaning is a hobby of mine. So no, there is nothing you can do to make me bow down to you like you're a king." Before I even get a chance to breathe he holds me up by my neck and I struggle, I try to loosen his grip because I can't breathe. He then swings his arm down with me in it and I hit the floor hard. I felt that one. I turn my pain into a rage and snap.

"You think I don't like this? I love this Captain, in fact this is turning me on. You beating me into submission is hot. Getting hit over and over again by Captain Levi Ackerman is hot. I love it. I don't know why, maybe I'm a masochist. But another reason you can't hurt me is that... I've got a thing for you Captain. I think about you when I’m alone. Do you like that Captain? Do you like to think of me on my knees below you? Because I sure do." I smirk at him and his stunned face. Suddenly he smirks right back and I get confused. He looks me in the eyes and leans close to my ear, my breath hitches as I feel his warm breath hit my ear. 

"I know the perfect way to punish you Kol. You may love feeling pain but I love causing it." He picks me up and shoves me against the wall. I can breathe just enough to let a few words out. My cheeks flush as he looks at me. I feel my heart beating through my chest. He keeps his eyes glued right on my eyes and says, "You will call me Captain Levi, Sir." I'm feeling too much emotion I don't even say no I just stare back at him.

"Say, something cadet. Cat got your tongue?" I try to speak but only a bunch of mumbles come out. "Hmm, I can't quite hear that Kol." Just as I start to say something his hand grabs onto the tent in my jeans. His firm hand cups my cock and lightly squeezes. I moan and shudder under his touch. He grabs tighter and says, "Call me Sir, now." I can't even think straight so I just moan, "Captain Levi, sir I am extremely sorry for my insubordination." He let's go of me and walks to his desk and sits down. I sit on the ground stunned and he smirks down at me and tells me to go get a mop to clean this mess off the floor. I go clean up the mess and shake as I keep feeling his hand on my dick.

I finish cleaning his room and salute him while he stares at me, smirking again. I quickly leave his office and go to my room and get ready to wash off. I can't stop thinking about Levi, what he did, why I gave him the satisfaction of being subdued. I want him to touch me more. I want him to hold me by my throat. I want him to spank me with his belts. I want him kissing me while he slowly fucks me. I clear my head and go to my bathroom. I don’t know what to do about what happened. I didn’t expect it. I thought I’d get out easy, but no, he surprised me.

All I know is, I have to have him...

I have to have Captain Levi.


	3. Troubling Thoughts

Levi’s POV:  
Kol was always intriguing to me. I knew early on before he rose through the ranks that there was something peculiar about him. I wouldn’t push because I don’t care enough. But today when he was getting beat consistently, he didn’t waver or back down. It was impressive and curious, but it was incredibly sexy. Seeing him lie there taking every hit and still looking up at me with that look of lust in his eyes. It was intoxicating to me. Then when he snapped and told me about his feelings, it took all my strength not to fuck him right then and there.

But I would not do that. There is a time and place for that, and for now, I will make him beg. He has an outstanding pain tolerance, but I know that even touching him makes him wither and squirm. I’ve noticed this for a while but I never thought anything of it because he just seemed so cold and void of emotion - kind of like myself. But now everything fits together like a puzzle. Him holding his breath when I pin him down and look at him straight in his warm caramel eyes.

I felt a strange feeling in my stomach thinking about him. Especially his eyes. Those eyes were magnificent. Every time I see them it’s like I’m trapped. I will never say it but he is breathtaking. He makes my heart pound in my chest. I bite my lip and sigh.

No matter though, I have things to do and this can wait till later. I push the thought of him being completely at my mercy earlier, to the back of my mind. I work on the paperwork for Commander Erwin on the evaluation of the new scout recruits.

I finish in a surprising amount of time and decide to make myself a cup of tea. I turn on the stovetop and watch the water slowly steam up. When I look at it I thought about Kol, on his knees, mouth open and begging for me to touch him. I picture myself whispering in his ear and telling him all the things I would do to him, finding immense pleasure in the low groans of him not being able to handle the tension of being so close to me, yet so far. Then once he least expects it, I slowly edge my hand from his neck, past his chest, over his crotch, and finally resting on his inner thighs. I see him throw his head back and then I lean in close to his ear, my mouth almost touching the soft skin next to the ear, and say, “I want you to beg for it. I want to hear you moan my name Kol.”

I shift out of the thought instantly as the steam starts to become immense and I go to turn off the stovetop. I grab my expensive china teacups from my cupboard and fill the cups with the scorching water and steep my lavender tea bag in it, to ease the stress from my paperwork.

Eventually, it gets late and I begin to get tired so I decide to put everything away and to take my shower so that I do not get dirt and sweat on my bed. Fucking disgusting.

I walk into the bathroom and pull my grey shirt over my head. I look at myself in the mirror. I don’t usually look at myself because I’m not that entertaining to look at but when I look this time I think of all the ways I could slowly push Kol to the edge. I look at my hard pecs and run my hand down my soft yet strong abs, all eight of them. I then snap out of my trance and pull my pants off along with my boxers and step into the scalding hot shower.

The water runs through my hair and down my back, over my ass, down my muscular thighs, and then down the drain. I run my hands through my hair making sure to clean every spot as to not look musty. I run the soap over my body and take extra time thinking about Kol at the mercy of me today. I sigh and finish cleaning myself.

I step out of the bathroom seeing as I finished my shower and go to the window in my casual sweatpants and a white tee. Outside I see Kol, Connie, and Eren laughing and smoking. I think to go down there and tell them to drop that shit and go to bed but instead, for some reason, I stand there and watch the boys through my dark window.

Eventually, Eren and Connie leave and Kol sits down outside looking at the stars. I completely forget I was watching them and am now intrigued by Kol sitting by himself, smoking and looking at the night sky. It’s weird to me how he looks at the stars. He looks at them carefully and with what kind of looks like a sad expression.

It’s interesting to see Kol - who is usually so cold, look so vulnerable. I was finally moving past the window to tell him to get his ass to bed when then I see it.

The smallest tears escape his eyes. I become confused and decide to let him be. I look out one last time and see him saying something. In my gut, I get that feeling again. Feeling like I want to support him and tell him everything is going to be okay. But I can’t do that when I come close to death every single day and I have no idea what he’s been through. The thought alone of not knowing him well makes me feel sad and because I feel sad, I feel perplexed over why I feel sad.

I don’t put any thought into it though and walk away. So I lay down and realize I’ve only been able to see the stars for not even half my life. But it’s weird how badly I want to see them tonight. But the thought passes and I fall asleep.

Kol’s POV:  
I spend what feels like an hour in the shower. I just stand there with my back against the wall and think. My emotions all over the place right now. I don’t know how I feel about what happened. Am I angry? Am I sad? Am I turned on? Probably all of the above. I decide I need to get out and go to bed but I let the water trickle down my body for a little bit longer. The warmth of the water soothes my troubling thoughts and calms me down just enough for me to step out of the shower and dry off. As I walk out of the shower I hear Eren and Connie try to be sneaky and get through my door. I turn around fast and they jump. I crack a smile and ask them what they want.

“I found some hidden in Jean’s room and thought…, why not use it ourselves?” Connie says in a cheeky grin while pulling out a tiny bag of kush already rolled and given the day I’ve had I can’t decline, even if I want to. And I don’t.

“Whatever let’s go. If you wake up Levi I will fucking murder y’all. I’ve had enough pain for one day. I don’t want to see him sleep-deprived.” The thought of Levi brings me back to earlier and how amazing and low I felt. I loved the touch he gave me but being so powerless and unable to speak fucked with my head. I still feel angry at myself for letting him get to me.

“Yeah, and if he finds out I’m out of my cell I’m fucked. He will beat the shit out of me, and since I heal fast, he’ll do it again for fun.” Eren says with a panicked expression on his face. The fact that we know it was true and that Eren would be the one to get the worst punishment makes Connie and I laugh which makes Eren look annoyed.

We walk down the dark corridors of the castle. Despite the castle being old and worn down it was incredibly clean. This is due to Captain Levi’s germaphobia, I would make jokes but I’m a germaphobe as well. I hate germs, I hate dirt, I hate mold, etc.

Still walking down the corridors we pass Captain Levi’s doors and we walk by as quietly as we can. I look back for a second thinking about earlier today. I’m conflicted and I’m not going to deny it. I return my gaze to my friends and keep walking the few hallways left before approaching the big wooden castle doors. We wouldn’t go out those though - they would make too much noise. We go to the side where there is a normal-sized door that leads straight to the picnic tables.

We head out of the castle and walk towards the picnic tables on the outside. We sit down and light up. “Connie we saw you blush when Sasha kissed you on the cheek today. You were pressed.” Eren says. Connie glares at him and tells him to shut the fuck up before then hitting him. I let out a small laugh and Eren does the same. We keep laughing and occasionally piss off Eren who in turn pisses me off for most of the night. Suddenly Connie starts to bring up romance and I stop laughing.

“Eren who do you like? Be deadass. I know it’s not Mikasa.” Connie asks.

“I don’t really have feelings for anyone right now, especially since we all know what could happen outside of the walls. I’d rather not carry the weight of being in love when I have to be humanity’s greatest hope.” Eren responds looking down then back up before smirking at Connie and asking, “How’s Sasha, Connie?”

“Shut up Yeager, we are trying to keep it down low, for now, we aren’t even together. We just like to spend quality time together.” Connie retorts with a glare sent Eren’s direction.

They both glare at each other for a minute before smiling, turning towards me and smirking.

“Before you ask, no, I don’t like anyone. Love is unnecessary and will not end well for us - especially in our line of work.” I say stoically.

“Jesus Christ you’re fucking depressing. You remind me of like a softish Levi.” Connie says which makes him and Eren laugh and me looking pissed off.

“Don’t compare me to him bitch. I’ll still beat your ass in training.” Connie stops laughing which makes Eren laugh even harder and even makes me chuckle a little bit.

Eventually, Connie and Eren go back inside the castle to their beds, leaving me with the last of the blunt. I sit down resting my back on the picnic table and raising my head to the stars. Everything comes back in that moment. I’d never let someone see me cry, let alone know I’m sad. But after having to keep my emotions in for weeks I had to let it out.

Looking at the stars above I could count at least seven different constellations. The stars appeared even brighter tonight because of the new moon. I started thinking about the stories I would hear when I was younger; when I was younger and had never seen the sky. I remember my mom telling me about how beautiful the stars were and that each one had its own story, how every star came from someone and is someone’s light. I remember hearing that even when the people I loved were no longer with me; I could look to the sky and see them again. I remember her telling me that she would show me the sky someday. That day never came.

I sit there looking at the North star and the adjacent stars and deep down I feel like my mom is the north star - the brightest star in the sky. Just like she was the brightest star to me. And, everyone else I’ve loved and lost is the neighboring stars. I feel like the people I’ve loved are still watching over me and start slightly crying. I think about my sister and how she died. I think about my fuck up of a father I had. I think about all the friends and people I’ve lost. I hate that I’m still here and the people who deserve to be here, aren’t.

I start whispering to the stars about how sorry I am for not being able to protect the people I love, and how I should’ve been more prepared. I will never be weak again. I have to be strong and make sure that the lives of the people I loved and lost, were not in vain.

I sit outside a while longer and finally toss the blunt and stomp on it before going inside to bed. I don’t know what came over me but I found myself walking in the wrong direction.

I was walking away from my room.

I was walking to Levi’s room.


	4. Drunk n High

**Connie’s POV:**

Something is wrong with Kol. I’ve known him for only a few months but we’ve grown close and even though he won’t let us in all the way we can still tell when things aren’t right. That’s why I got the idea to go smoke with Kol. Eren also came because he noticed something was off as well.

Kol never acted so blatantly defiant toward his superiors. He is always calm, collected, clever, and in control. But today he was distracted, irrational, angry, and defiant. I’ve never seen him act that way towards anyone. Even when we were training to become soldiers he never faltered. Something is wrong and most everyone knows it.

The only time he showed slight anger was when an older scout had beat on me and Kol got in the way. I didn’t bring it up much but Kol has always stepped up for us - it’s like we are his family and he is definitely ours. I know he’s gotten angered over things like that with his other friends but that’s the only time  _ I’ve  _ seen him slightly angry.

Today was something else. His emotions seemed to be all over the place. He seemed angry and sad yet confused and hurt. I’m not sure what had happened and I knew better than to press but it still made me worry and I didn’t like having to worry about Kol. It was harder to worry about Kol than any of my other friends because no one, not even Ymir, knew what he was thinking. We all thought he had deep trauma but we know not to pry; especially when it comes to his past.

He never brought anything up before training in the cadet corps. We tried getting something out of him and he gave us a look that scared us half to death - except Ymir; she smirked. And after his cold stare, he proceeded to not talk to anyone for 2 straight weeks. Not a single word came out of his mouth. It was impressive and kind of creepy.

Today though when I brought up ‘romance’ Kol’s smile vanished fast. If you weren’t used to Kol like I was you wouldn’t have seen it. I almost didn’t catch it myself. It was unusual and Eren and I thought that maybe he needed time for himself so we left him alone and hoped tomorrow would be a better day for him.

“Fuck you. I’m tired and want to go to sleep.” I say to Eren as he pushes me forward, making me almost fall down the steps. Eren laughs and then gets serious.

“Tomorrow we should try to get him in a better mood. I don’t know what to do. I feel like there is only so much we can do. Maybe the Captain will let him take a day off or something. He might understand. Kol can only handle so much. He may be a dangerous motherfucker but he’s still human, with human emotions.” I nod in agreement.

I flick Eren off and run to my room as he goes to his cell. My room is directly next door to Kol’s and I am kind of tired but I sort of just stay up for a bit. I was going to try to stay awake to get my clothes off but ended up just passing out on my bed.

**Kol’s POV:**

I trudge to Captain Levi’s room and once I get out front I just stand there. I can’t move. I feel like I’m stuck. I end up just sitting next to the door and I just think. I sit there for hours just thinking about everything that’s happened the past few years. Then my mind travels to Levi.

Levi.

I want this man so badly but I know that his hold over me is a weakness. I will not let him manipulate that and I will certainly not bother myself with a crush. Even though I want him, I can’t have him. He doesn’t like me. I know he doesn’t. He doesn’t have to tell me because I could tell. I could tell he got off on the way I became submissive under him and I hated that.

I needed to let this go. I needed to focus on training and fighting because that’s what I owe to everyone I’ve lost and everyone I could lose if I don’t get a hold of myself.

I wonder if Levi ever gets to a point where he has to let it out too. I’ve never seen him show any emotion except for slight anger, satisfaction, and disgust. I wonder if he’s ever been in love. I let that thought go and stand up, seemingly to have control over my body once again.

I walk to the mess hall and go to grab a cup of water but stop when I see the case of liquor. I’m not in the best headspace right now and my decisions are probably bad but when I saw the alcohol I needed to taste it. I needed to drink.

I grab a handle of vodka and sit down at the back left corner table and begin to drink. I forgot to grab a glass so I just drink it straight. The first sip felt like fire on my throat but I swallowed anyway. The second sip hurt but I was getting used to it. Then I just start drinking and drinking and the next thing I know, I’m asleep.

It was the most peaceful sleep I’ve ever had. I saw all the happy memories I had and all the things I want to have in the future. I saw us defeating all the titans, I saw me achieving my own personal goals and vendetta, and I saw Levi.

Levi.

Captain Levi was holding me by my waist and kissing me softly on the lips. I felt so happy and then everything just went dark. No more dreams, no more anger, no more joy, just nothing.

Maybe I’m crazy for wanting that. Nothing. I want to just go blank and I want everything to just stop. I just want to rest for once. Everything has gone to shit for me my whole life and I’m honestly just really fucking tired.

But I know I still have work to do. The people I loved didn’t die for nothing. And I am going to make sure that their deaths were not in vain. As that last thought slips my mind I fall fast asleep.

**Eren’s POV:**

I wake up early as usual for training because if I don’t then Levi beats the shit out of me. I felt a little tired after getting high as hell and barely getting any sleep.

I take a quick shower in the communal bathroom and brush my teeth. I finish my routine by putting on my uniform attire and then I go upstairs to grab Connie and see how Kol is.

I walk into Connie’s room first and he’s already up and pulling up his pants. His room is dirty. Gross.

“You better clean your room up before Levi sees it. He will make you clean the stables and the mess hall if he sees this shit.” I warn Connie. He just rolls his eyes.

“Shut the fuck up Eren. I’ll clean it soon. It’s not even that messy.” I just shrug and tell him to hurry the fuck up so we can grab Kol and go get food.

We walk right next door to Kol’s room and go in. It’s empty. We don’t think much of it because Kol usually gets up early to train anyway. We just shut the door and walked to the mess hall. As we walk we see Captain Levi walking toward the mess hall. He doesn’t look very happy. We nod for respect and he just eyes us and walks on. We are about to mind our own business but I remember Connie’s and I conversation from last night.

“Captain?” Levi pauses and turns around to look at me with an unreadable expression.

“What is it brat?” I hadn’t realized I was just standing there saying nothing. To be frank I’m scared of Levi especially when he doesn’t look to be in the best mood.

“So we were just hoping to talk to you about Kol.” Levi widens his eyes a bit for a split second then they go back to how they were. “So we think something is off with Kol because as you are very aware - he was very disrespectful towards you yesterday and we’ve never seen him get harsh with anyone the entire time we’ve known him. So we were just hoping maybe he could be under orders to calm down for a day? He seems to be going through something and we would help but Kol isn’t exactly the type to open up… Just an idea though sir.”

Levi nods and walks away. He may have been looking okay but looks can be deceiving. So we stay a few feet back just in case.

Levi walks into the mess hall and after a few seconds, growls. We sneak our head in a little bit and see Levi kicking Kol. He looks comatose. After a while, Levi gets annoyed and yells at us to get Hanji. We nod and go.

**Levi’s POV:**

I wake up with a headache seeing as I got almost no sleep from the constant fucking dreams of Kol. I felt that weird feeling in my stomach again and it was agitating. When I’m fully awake I feel extreme fatigue and just shove it to the side and put on my uniform. Checking to make sure everything is spotless one last time I head out to the mess hall. I see Eren and Connie and remember last night. I look at them briefly and keep moving.

I get to the dining hall and walk to my table. The Captain’s table. Then I see Kol lying there sleeping with a handle of vodka. I storm over and kick him. He doesn’t move so I kick again and again and again. Eventually, I give up and tell Eren to go get Hanji. I do not feel like dealing with this today.

Then I feel a tiny bit worried. I never feel concerned over something like this but Kol wasn’t making any indication of him waking up. I sit next to him and wait for Hanji.

Hanji shows up minutes later to take a look at Kol. I sit there waiting expectantly as cadets swarm into the mess hall. Stopping to see what was happening and then I told them to fuck off and eat.

“He is in an extremely deep sleep. Not a coma but he will not be awake for some time. I would watch over him though. You can take care of him, Levi! It’ll be fun. At least you have something to do while working on paperwork! Oh, and one more thing, you might need to take care of some of his other  _ issues. _ ” Hanji giggles, pats my head, and runs off.

A scowl forms on my face at her last comment and I pretend to not have heard it. And since Hanji had already run off, I didn’t really have a choice over if I was going to watch Kol or not. Sighing, I pick Kol up, toss him over my shoulder, and walk out of the mess hall to my room. When we get inside I drop Kol on the bed and situate him so he doesn’t wake up with cramps.

I’m looking over him and time slows. I take in his jawline, so defined and firm. His lips, soft and kissable. I look over his body, muscles bulge through his clothes making him look extremely strong. His tan skin; so intoxicating. His hands lay down beside him, the veins from his arm to his hands make me bite my lip. I travel back up his body and look at his hair. His hair is so soft and fine and the blondish-brown color makes me want to run my hand through his hair and make him moan. I want to make him squirm beneath me; begging me to touch him.

I pictured him underneath me and let my eyes graze down his body and over his clothed crotch. It’s bulged a little bit more than usual and his v line makes my dick twitch thinking about what his cock looks like up close. I want to see him throbbing and panting because of me. I’m so close. I could just touch him. I shake the disgusting thoughts out of my head and realize I got hot looking at him.

I go to my desk and start working. I keep thinking about Kol though. I can’t get him off my mind and it’s fucking irritating.

I want to feel.

I want to feel him.


	5. Tension

**Kol’s POV:**

I wake up slowly in a bed I don’t recognize. I look to my left and see Captain Levi working at a desk. I try to remember the events from earlier. How did I get here? In fact, where is, here? I sit up and rub my eyes then look at Captain Levi. He catches my eyes and looks right at me. He doesn’t move for what feels like hours. When he finally moves, he bends down to grab something from his right-hand drawer. He stands back up and is holding some Aspirin and he quickly walks to his bed to give me the medicine.

When I come to grab it though, he takes his time putting the pills into my hand. He rubs my hand softly and I hated how good it felt. I know he did that shit on purpose but I won’t let it get to me. If I don’t show I’m affected by his touch then he’ll think he doesn’t have a hold over me anymore.

I grab the glass of water next to my bed.

Wait, no.

I grab the glass of water next to  _ his  _ bed.

Jesus that’s embarrassing. I cannot believe I just said ‘my bed’. Imagine if I had said that out loud. Levi would have never let me live it down.

I drink the now, room temperature water and swallow the pills. Levi sits next to his bed and watches me intensely. I look straight back at him and all my will power washes away. I stare into his gorgeous grey eyes and study his face. You’d think by now I’d have memorized every stunning feature about him seeing as I think about him so much.

But, every time I see him, I notice something new. The way how when he leans forward his dark black hair moves down with him, making his undercut so much sexier. The way when he stares at you with curiosity his eyebrows scrunch up a bit. The way I saw his dark circles which even though stated he needed sleep, were incredibly fucking sexy. The way when he swallows his Adam's apple moving turns me on. The way his lips look so soft, so kissable, so stunning.

Fuck. I wish I could see him smile.

I snap out of his trance and sit up further. The instant I sit up pain shoots through my body and I lay back down immediately. Levi smirks at me and sits back up straight. I glare at him and ask where I am.

“You got extremely drunk last night and wouldn’t wake up so I got tasked with the job of watching over you while you slept. By the way, you talk in your sleep. Very lewd things I’ve heard from your mouth.” My eyes widen and my cheeks start to flush. I open my mouth but shut it again and look away out of embarrassment.

“Anyways brat I’m meeting with Erwin. I won’t be back for a while. Stay in bed and drink the goddamn water. If you throw up on my floor I’ll make today pale in comparison to what I’d do to you. The same goes for everything else in my room. Don’t fuck up anything. Get some fucking sleep and take a shower or something. You look disgusting.”

“Yes, Captain.” He looks at me with a smirk and doesn’t move an inch. I wonder what he’s still doing here and as i look into his face i remember our conversation from a day ago. I don’t want a repeat - kind of so I just grind my teeth together and push the words out.

“Yes Captain Levi,  _ sir. _ ” He walks to his desk in contentment and grabs some random stack of papers and heads toward the door. His feet sound loud in the quiet room and I can’t help but notice how clean everything in his room is. Thanks to me of course. But then I notice Levi’s tight uniform. Fuck it’s so hot. What I would do to see him shirtless. That would kill me.

There’s a pause after he opens the door. I feel his eyes on me but don’t turn back so I don’t start staring again. A few seconds pass by and he walks out and slams the door behind him. I don’t know what I expected but I was disappointed not to hear him say ‘goodbye’.

I decide to let the aspirin do its job and let myself go back to sleep before going to take a shower. The pain calms down a little bit and I look at Levi’s desk. How I was right in front of it a day ago getting beat the fuck up. I remember how hot it was. How horny it made me. How much I wished he would touch me longer and whisper in my ear again.

I close my eyes and push the dirty thoughts out of my mind. The last thing I think about before I fall asleep is Levi’s stare at me earlier. How I wished it was something more. But it’s not. He will never want me the way I want him.

**Levi’s POV:**

As I was walking out the door I stopped. I don’t know why but I looked over my shoulder to see Kol one last time admiring his beauty and wishing that Kol had grabbed my hand and pulled me to the bed. But he didn’t. I slam the door shut and walk to Erwin’s office. I can’t get the brat out of my head.

I need a distraction.

**Hanji’s POV:**

I watch Levi walk away from his room from behind a corner. I’m annoyed. I’ve spent the whole day trying to get Levi and Kol to do something. They don’t do anything. It’s obvious there’s tension. And I think it’s  _ sexual  _ tension. I even left Kol in Levi’s possession and nothing happened. I need to come up with a different strategy.

I realize I don’t know Kol that well at all. I’ve been close with Levi for years but Kol is so shut off he barely talks to anyone. He befriended all his comrades and that’s difficult considering who his comrades are.

I need someone to help me get something going. I’m  _ tired  _ of waiting. It would be fucking fantastic to see Levi smille. He hasn’t done that in years. Also I’m doing this because we haven’t gone on an expedition in months and Erwin doesn’t want us to “waste our time trying to capture titans.” I needed something to get stuff going and I knew just who to ask.

I walk into my lab and see Armin reading and Eren just sitting there.

I forgot he can’t read well. But on the bright side, he can help solve my problem!

I skip over to Eren and he gets white as a ghost.

“Don’t worry there are no more experiments. For today.” His face barely changes color.

“I need your help with another problem. You and Kol are close right?”

“Yeah, kind of but something’s been off about him lately. Have you noticed it too? I think he got angry at Captain Levi or something because he’s never been this defiant.” Eren responds.

“GREAT!”

“Now we need to find a way for Kol to get back to normal and a way for  _ Levi  _ to get happy again. Now my first idea failed but I have another!” Eren looks at me confused and I just show off my huge grin.

“Kol and Levi are meant to be together Erennnnnn! I hear the way they talk and see the way they act around eachother. It’s like the intro to a porno 99% of the time. SO FUCKING HOT!” Eren looks at me with wide eyes and just stutters trying to speak.

“Yeah I see it too but wouldn’t it be weird for them to get together since they’re um well… closed off and antisocial?” Hanji beams and her smile seems to grow even bigger somehow.

“THAT’S THE BEST PART! THEY’LL BRING EACHOTHER OUT OF THEIR SHELL! MY BABIES ARE GOING TO BE SO ADORABLE TOGETHER!” Hanji keeps yelling and Eren flinches from the noise, hands instinctively going to cover his ears.

“Ok well what’s your idea? Just please don’t run anymore experiments on me.” Eren whimpers the last part out and looks at Hanji expectantly. Hanji’s face just lights up and it looks like she’s about to blow up from excitement.

I will get Kol and Levi together

I will get Kol and Levi to love each other.


	6. Remembrances

**Eren’s POV:**

I stand next to Hanji getting ready to hear their next idea when they decide to take me to Captain Levi’s office. They want me to give Kol some new drug they made. They gave me a big name for it with an explanation on how it works but I didn’t bother listening. All I know is that the drug is going to make Kol extremely horny. Knowing Hanji I just have to pray and hope he doesn’t die instead.

I walk in and pour the liquid down Kol’s throat along with some of the water next to his bed. I sit next to him for a minute and admire him. I may be mostly straight but at some point or another everyone in the survey corps has tested their sexuality with, well, sex.

In other words, me and him fucked and I remember how godly his body looks. But seeing him lie there peacefully brings memories of a few years ago when I had discovered my titan ability. I didn’t understand and I was terrified but Kol wouldn’t let anything happen to me. Ever since we met in training he has been protective over me and almost everyone else in our class.

When I awoke from my titan form and the military police had me surrounded I was confused and scared - especially when I saw Mikasa and Armin and the weapons pointed at us. When the first cannon shot and I protected us I remember freaking out and watching as the smoke cleared. There he was, Kol as usual - protecting me.

_ (flashback) _

“Tell me why I shouldn’t kill you on the spot! You could be planning to wipe us all out right now! Soldiers take aim!” Captain Weilman shouts. They’re frightened by me and I wish I could tell them what’s going on but… I don’t know either.

Weilman raises his arm and I get scared knowing that I don’t have the energy to block another cannon. I start to panic and plead for him to stop and suddenly he does.  _ I can’t believe he’s going to hear me out! _

Then I saw him.

Kol.

He stood right behind Weilman with one of his ODM gear blades right along the Captain’s throat. Everyone turned their attention to Kol who could slit the Captain’s throat at any moment. No one moved not even Rico - the woman who agreed that Eren is a threat and should be executed.

“I want everyone to put down their guns and step away from the cannons so we can have a civilized conversation. If anyone moves even the slightest bit in a motion to attack me or Eren I will not hesitate to kill this man and then every single one of you next. And I wouldn’t doubt my skill either. I am sure you are aware of my capabilities so let’s handle this rationally.” Kol speaks loudly but softly. It’s like a gentle warning.

“AIM YOUR GUNS AT CADET KOL FRITZ! IF HE DOES NOT BACK AWAY WITHIN 10 SECONDS SHOOT!”Weilman screams.The soldiers look uneasy but point their guns at Kol anyway. Kol doesn’t even seem fazed - he just whistles softly and dozens of my comrades fly down from the building holding almost all of the soldiers the same way Kol is holding Weilman.

Kol speaks softly and nods appreciatively at our friends. “Please put down your weapons and be ready for a friendly and cooperative discussion on Eren Jaeger’s newfound abilities.” As he finishes every soldier drops their weapon out of fear. We stay silent for a moment until we hear the light laughter of Commander Dot Pixis. “Well gentlemen and ladies, would you all be so kind as to put down the weapons. I see no need for violence. I would like a word with Jeager myself personally. I’ve been informed of the recent discoveries and I strongly believe he can help with our current predicament.”

Kol eyes Pixis for a second and then backs away - retreating to the roof tops with our fellow cadets. I look up at Kol and see that he nods at me with a slight smile. I smile and nod back and direct my attention to Pixis. I walk towards him slowly and we begin our journey to the top of Wall Rose.

_ (flashback over) _

I sit and remember that moment fondly. He risked his life and reputation to save my life. I would be dead countless times without him and he never once asked for anything in return. I owed him a debt I can never fully repay, so I consider his chance with Captain Levi another step in my journey to repay him.

I stand up to leave before grabbing Kol’s hand and whispering a soft, ‘thank you.’ I turn the handle to the door shut and leave to meet Hanji in her laboratory.

**Levi’s POV:**

I walk to Eren’s room when I see a familiar painting. It was of the new Levi Squad. Seated right next to me was Kol and all I could think about is the day I saw him in training and knew he needed to be on my squad.

_ (flashback) _

I walk with Erwin around the field filled with new scout regiment recruits. Some of them looked promising - especially the 104th cadets. They had passion and motivation that was unique and extremely useful. Eren walked down below and seemed to be telling something private to Armin from the way they were whispering and looking around. I’ll have to ask about that later, I hate secrets within my squad. Secrets seem to be the reason for people dying so much lately. I will not have any more of it.

Then my eyes catch a glimpse of the peculiar ravenette who walks towards Eren and seems to mutter something about being irresponsible. I look away unconcerned but see Miss Ackerman glare at me from down there. I know she wants to fight me. And one day she will get exactly what she wants.

I move on and see Connie, Sasha, and Jean zipping through the trees effectively slicing through the fake titans napes. They seem efficient and if I wanted them on my squad I’d have to take all three of them seeing as they seem to not perform well separately.

I see Historia and Ymir arguing like a couple. Historia sees me and Erwin though and immediately gets back to sparring with Ymir.

Then walking towards me is a boy I’ve never seen before. Gorgeous, muscular, and seemingly clever. As he nears he puts his hand over his heart to salute to Commander Erwin and I. I nod and Erwin steps forward asking what he needs.

“Commander I was wondering what else you need help with. I have done well in my training today. I believe and think my physical efforts might be better used helping out in some way for now.” I scowl. I don’t know who this is seeing as he was always training instead of showing his face towards me like most of the other cadets but I don’t like the idea of him getting out of training unlike everybody else.

Erwin speaks up noticing my irritation, “That would be much appreciated Kol. But first, do you mind showing Captain Levi here a demonstration of your capabilities?” Kol nods in understanding.

“What set of skills would you like to see first Commander?” Kol asks - I notice the emotionless look in his eyes. I know that look, I wear that look. It makes me curious but now is not the time nor place to bring it up.

“Please demonstrate your sparring and weapons training.” Kol nods and walks forward picking up a javelin and getting in position to throw it. Cadets move out of the way and Kol chucks the javelin several meters away - landing perfectly in the center of a circle carved into a nearby tree.  _ Impressive. _

He then walks back over and stops directly in front of me and asks, “Who would you like me to spar with Captain?” I think it over and think of the perfect individual.

“I would like you to spar with Mikasa Ackerman.” He doesn’t look fazed and simply walks over to Mikasa telling her he needs a spart buddy. I chose Mikasa specifically because she is by far the strongest soldier I’ve seen recently.

They get into fighting stance and begin fighting. Within seconds Mikasa is on the ground under Kol. She doesn’t even look angry - in fact she tells him she wants to spar again tomorrow. My eyes widen fractionally seeing how fast he took her down.

Erwin notices my slight change in facial expressions and lets out a light laugh. “That right there is Kol Fritz. He was top of his class and is by far one of the most respected soldiers out there currently. He does have trouble showing his emotions but he doesn’t lack skill, empathy, or drive. In fact I know he is exceptionally motivated to hopefully join your squad.”

I look at him one last time and notice how many people gather around him and begin to talk. I notice Jean coming back and Mikasa getting infuriated with Eren once again and storming off. Jean notices and becomes easily angered - once again - with Eren. Jean walks briskly towards Eren and punches him square in the jaw. Eren doesn’t do anything from shock for a moment before he begins to punch Jean back. I decide to step in when suddenly they stop.

Standing between them and holding them each by their shoulders, Kol tells them to calm down and with slight force, shoves them to the ground making them groan. The boys get off the ground a few moments later, calmed and thank Kol for stepping in. That really impressed me. I’ve never seen them stop fighting so easily; let alone thank someone for stopping them.

Kol Fritz intrigues me.

_ (flashback ends) _

I flash back to reality and with a final huff, walk to and in Erwin’s room.

**Kol’s POV:**

_ (flashback/dream) _

I’m standing in a puddle. I look around me and see the neon lights, the families, my friends. But I don’t see the sky.

I walk with Rivaille and Alyssa toward our houses. We mostly just enjoyed each other’s silence but we’d occasionally crack a smile. I was 9 at the time. I lived underground. I hated it here. I always dreamed that one day I’d get out like Captain Levi did. I adored him. 

That was the last time I was unconditionally happy.

The military police were coming down to the underground more often and they would treat us like dirt. We noticed a large number of military police here today. It had been a few weeks after the fall of Wall Maria and food was hard to come by.

The day was gloomy and loud as usual. People would rob, steal, kill, and kidnap people all the time. It wasn’t unusual to me. I helped when I could but I’m not strong enough to stop people all the time.

I knew I did bad things too but I did them to survive, for me and my family to survive. I had no problem stealing when necessary and being ‘hired’ to teach people a lesson. It used to hurt but after a while, it just felt like something I had to do to survive.

I started training myself when I was 3. I started off slow, just learning simple martial arts and a little bit of stretching to make myself flexible.

After a while, though, I got used to it.

People would come to me and ask me to do things. After a while, I had to learn how to protect myself. That’s when I started using weapons and I kind of wish my life hadn’t turned out this way, but there is no way I’m going to be able to provide for my family without my ‘talents’.

“Shut the fuck up Lyssa,” Rivallie says when she starts talking about how his girlfriend broke up with him. Alyssa and I look at each other and start laughing. Rivallie looks annoyed and that just makes us laugh harder.

We see the community park up ahead. It’s run down, beaten up, and barely standing but I still think it’s one of the only good things down here.

We stopped at the park and sat down on the beat down, wooden benches and just talked for what felt like hours. I noticed my mother running toward us with tears in her eyes. I stood shocked and when she arrived she grabbed us and told us that we need to go now.

Mom started rushing us toward a part of the wall where there were tiny holes in the sky - facing the sky. Ravillie was freaking out and ran towards his parents when we got close. Alyssa started crying and I sat there confused, scared, and my eyes were filling up with tears.

That’s when I heard them.

That’s when I heard the screams.


	7. Bathtime

**Kol’s POV:**

I jolt awake and notice I’m sweating hard. I sit there and collect myself. I need to take a shower. I need to get that memory out of my mind. I need to get myself together and get back to training.

I walk over to the shower and I realize I feel dizzy. I ignore it and go into the Captain’s bathroom. I’m not surprised with how clean it is. I run the bath water medium because I’ve already been too hot today and do not need more heat. And, no cold water because I  _ hate  _ the cold.

I get ready to start the bath when I hear a knock at the door to Levi’s office. I sigh and go to open it and am surprised to see Eren standing there with an anxious look. “What’s up Eren?”

“Uh n-nothing. I was just wondering if you feel any different or have any new symptoms… Hanji said to check in on you…” Eren replies looking a little nervous.

I narrow my eyes at him and ask, “Why do you look so uncomfortable right now? Did Hanji do something again?” He just stares at me with wide eyes and then stutters ‘no’ and asks once again about my symptoms.

“Well I feel dizzy, tired, kind of hot, and um well… aroused. I wouldn’t call it a symptom usually but I’m  _ extremely  _ aroused… Do you mind asking Hanji what’s wrong with me?” He gulps and his face turns bright red and I look at him curiously.

Just as I’m about to ask him what’s up with him he tells me, “Okay will do. I’ll go talk to Hanji. In Hanji’s office about your condition. So yes… I will be in their laboratory call if you need me!” He runs off and I just shut the door.

What the fuck.

Eren looked way more flustered than usual and I’d need to make sure I see why later.

**Eren’s POV:**

I jog away from Captain Levi’s room and arrive at Hanji’s lab. Letting out a breath I didn’t know I was holding, I walked in. In an instant Hanji runs toward me screaming with a grin on their face. I widen my eyes in fear before they grab me and hug me tight, bombarding me with questions about the experiment.

Sometimes they’re more terrifying than the titans.

“It went well I think..? Kol said he felt; dizzy, tired, and horny.” Hanji squeals in delight and rushes out of their lab in seconds. I dart my eyes around confused and then just shrug and go back to my room.

**Kol’s POV:**

I walk to the bath and light some candles that, embarrassingly, remind me of Levi. Everything about him is intoxicating. His muscles and his voice and his hair and his cold stare and his smell… anyways you get the idea.

As the tub starts filling up I drop off my clothes and sit in the tub. He had this calming rose foaming bath bubbles and I filled the tub up so that my body was underneath the smell of roses and a hint of citrus. As I continue to think about Levi I feel myself grow. My pants become tight and I gently pull down my zipper and drop my pants to the floor. Now left in my shirt and boxers I take my sweet time to sensually remove them.

_ I imagine Levi taking off my shirt, slowly. Touching my muscles and curves while whispering sweet sounds in my ear. I feel him slide my shirt off me and latch his warm, soft mouth onto the skin directly under my ear. I tilt my head to give him space and moan slightly as he digs his teeth into me. I shudder out of pure bliss when I feel his sucking become more intense and his tongue leaves a sweet touch to the harsh bite. He removes himself from my neck and admires his work. _

_ The hickey, already dark, makes Levi turn towards me and grab me by my hair and bring me down to his level. “I want everyone to know you’re  _ **_mine_ ** _. Only mine. Only I get to see you so exposed and vulnerable like this. Only I get to touch you and make you moan. Only I get to tease you.  _ **_No one_ ** _ takes what’s mine.” _ I bite my lip and slowly inch off my boxers.

_ Levi reaches down and grabs my dick and gives it a tight squeeze. I shiver and gasp and he smirks up at me. “Lay down brat.” I obey his order and lay down. He bends down and with his light touches I try to shut my legs out of instinct. He growls and slaps my thigh. “No. I want your legs open.” I whine from the teasing while he goes to grab something from under his bed. _

_ He walks back over and my body shakes euphorically from the future sensations he is going to give me with our new toy. _

_ He reaches down to my legs and cuffs both legs to the bar and slowly spreads them far apart. I cry out in pain when it feels like I’m splitting in half and Levi just grins devilishly at me and spreads the bar just a bit further. I should probably be in pain but instead I’m moaning at the pleasure it sends up my legs, past my dick, and into my head. _

I move my hands slowly down my neck to my pecs. I gently brush and squeeze my, now, hard nipples and then travel lower. I grab my cock with one hand and my balls with the other. I slowly tug my dick up and down to the sound of Levi in my ear, touching my arm. Him grabbing my ass and kissing my inner thighs.

My imagination gets more intense with Levi now giving me full on hickies on my thighs. Trailing his tongue up to my dick, then right back down again. The teasing is too much. Then I imagine his fingers sliding in me. I moaned out loud and within minutes I came.

I lay there coming down from my high when I started to drift off to sleep again. All I see is Levi and his strong arms holding me and luring me to sleep.

**Levi’s POV:**

I walk out of Commander Erwin’s room and stop by the mess hall. I notice Kol still isn’t here so I grab myself food and eat. Then I grab some for Kol, that brat needs to eat.

I walk towards my room when I see Hanji and Eren in the corner of my eye. I don’t think anything of it and move inside my room. Looking around I see that Kol isn’t in here. About to knock on the bathroom door I hear a moan. I stand right in front of the door slightly getting hard.

Then he moans again, he moaned my name. He moaned,  _ Levi. _

I feel my cock throb at the sound and it takes all of my willpower to not just walk in and take him then and there. So, I knock on the door and he doesn’t answer so I open the door. I see his clothes lying on the floor and his sleeping body underneath bubbles. I decide to wake him up.

I get on my knees next to the tub. I rub my hand on his shoulder and he doesn’t move. I drag my hand down and I hear him moan my name again. I whisper in his ear, “Time to wake up Kol.” he still doesn’t budge.

So I move my hand right next to his dick and I grab it. He’s only half hard but when I start giving gentle strokes he moans and buckles into my hand. I keep jacking him off and he starts to say my name. I smirk and with one last stroke he cums.

With my cum covered hands I rub it on his lips as punishment for not waking up and I lick the rest off my fingers before washing my hands and leaving. The sight of him at my mercy was enough for me to need to pleasure myself. I lay down on the bed making sure the door is locked and unbutton my pants.

I pull down my boxers and my fully erect cock pops out. I quickly begin stroking and moaning and thinking of Kol and all the things I’d do to him. I start moaning his name when I hear the bathroom door open. I freeze.

Kol looks at me for a second, then smirks. “You took such good care of me today Captain. Do you need me to help you out with your  _ problem _ ?” he walks forward in one of my oversized shirts I got but then was too lazy to return them for being too big.

I want to say ‘no’ so that he doesn’t get to play with me like I did with him, but I can’t. “Yes Kol. I do need your help. I’m in a lot of pain from seeing your naked body in the bath earlier. Kol looks shocked but quickly reverts his face to a smirk once again.

“Ok Captain. Anything for you.” He walks over and gets on his knees in front of me. I feel his hand grab my length and his warm breath on my tip. He starts stroking and I throw my head back.

“Do you like that Sir?” I manage to get a few words out but they sound incoherent. Kol smirks. “Cat got your tongue?”. I glared at him knowing that this was payback for the incident a few nights ago. I open my mouth to tell him to shut the fuck up but then he drops his head on my tip.

I throw my head back in ecstasy and grab a fistful of his hair. He slowly bobs on my dick up and down while swirling his tongue around the tip and humming when my dick gets to his throat. I moan Kol’s name and in a minute or so I push his head far down and bust right into his mouth. He doesn’t cough or sputter, he just looks up at me and swallows it all.

I didn’t think it could get hotter. I was wrong. He jerks me off so that the tiny bit of cum left was falling down my tip. He smirks at me and licks it all up like an ice cream cone.

Fuck.

I just stare at him as he stands up and comes near my ear. “I hope that helped Captain. If you need anymore help just ask.” He then stands up looking at me one last time with lust in his eyes then unlocks the door and walks out.

I can’t do anything but sit there. After a minute I get myself together and pull up my boxers and pants. I feel infuriated that I let him get the satisfaction of me doing that.

I was going to make Kol pay.

I was going to make Kol mine.


	8. Jealousy Part I

**Kol’s POV:**

I begin to repel down to the ground after patrolling the area surrounding the castle when I see Eren and Jean fighting again. I roll my eyes and walk over to tell them to cut that shit out. “Eren back the fuck up and Jean calm the fuck down.” They whip their heads simultaneously in my direction with a look of shock.

“Sorry Kol, Eren just kept trying to start va fight we both know he would lose.” I narrow my eyes at Jean and tilt my head, motioning for him to leave. Jean smirks at Eren and walks away. I turn to look at Eren and see him seething over the little commentary Jean gave moments ago.

“Eren calm down, it’s not that serious.” I try to soothe him and it seems to work. He turns around and looks at me. I let out a light smile at him and reach over to pat his shoulder.

I put my hand on his shoulder and see flashing images. They’re too quick to get a good look at but from what I can tell, it’s just destruction.

It’s horrifying. The sky is smoky from the fire that surrounds the area. People and buildings have been crushed by something big. I would say a titan but titans aren’t big enough to cause that much destruction. I then see Historia screaming in pain.

Then I see me. I’m standing there crying and kissing Levi who seems to not be able to move much, I look around and see that everyone is gone. There’s no one except for me and Levi.

But, just as soon as the vision comes it disappears. I recoil my hand from Eren’s shoulder and he looks at me confused. I look at him horrified before looking around and seeing that everything is okay. What the fuck just happened to me?

I stand there and think for a second before I put my hand on his shoulder again. Nothing happens. “Uh Kol you okay?” Eren asks me with worry evident in his voice. I snap out of my thoughts and look him in the eyes with a small smile.  _ Hopefully he can’t tell it’s fake. _ I think to myself.

“Yeah, I just need some food. Let’s go to the mess hall okay?” he nods and we walk over to the mess hall and I let the vision leave my mind, taking it as mere daydreams or something of the sort.

**Levi’s POV:**

It’s been 4 days since I touched Kol and even though I’ve tried to get him on me again, he cleverly avoids every interaction between us. I can tell he’s teasing me and making me mad and it’s working.

I decide it’s time for me to switch up the game a little bit.

\----

It’s about 7 at night and I’ve decided to bring some random girl to the castle just to get a rise out of Kol. I walk with the girl towards the main hallway leading out to the castle doors. She tries to touch me but I roll my eyes and move back. 

“My name’s Petra. What do you want to do tonight sir?” She says seductively to me.

“Okay and just a kiss or two I’m tired if I’m being honest.” I lie back because it would be rude to say I was using her for my own personal gain.

As usual, Kol exits the mess hall early and walks to go outside. I lean myself against the girl on the wall and slowly kiss her. I feel Kol’s eyes burn holes through my skin. I smirk. I can feel him pause and I hear him turn around and go back to the mess hall. I pull away from the girl for a second and she looks at me flustered.

I growl. I thought that would be enough. I’ll just wait for him to come back. Then I hear them.  _ Hanji.  _ Fuck what is shitty four eyes doing now. I groan and turn around to see Kol trailing behind Hanji with a smirk on his face.

Hanji stops right in front of me and grabs the girl. “I’M HANJI! I WAS TOLD YOU’D LIKE TO HELP WITH MY EXPERIMENTS!” Hanji’s smile is huge and their voice deafening. The girl looks terrified and runs away. Hanji chases after her.

I narrow my eyes at Kol and he just smirks even bigger than before and walks toward the castle doors. “Hope your hookup went well Captain!” he shouts behind him.

I pace forwards and grab on to his arm. “What the fuck are you up to?” He just turns around and backs me up against the wall.

**Kol’s POV:**

I meet Hanji in the mess hall and tell them that I need help with Levi. They look at me curiously and I answer the question they’re thinking. “He’s with some whore in the hallways and it’s aggravating to look at. Can you deal with her? I’ll deal with Captain.” They smile and rush out of the mess hall.

I follow them confused until they get to the girl and begin talking about their experiments. I smirk at Levi and watch as the poor girl runs away. My smirk grows as Levi glares at me and I walk towards the entrance of the castle. He pulls on my arm, next thing I know I have him pressed on the wall.

My hands on either side of his head, my right knee between his legs, and my face inches away from his. I move my hands downward and brush through his hair and down to the side of his neck. I use my fingers and draw random shapes softly. I pull my hand even lower right at the end of his shirt. I tease my fingers in the waistband of his jeans and see him clench his jaw. I smirk and remove my hand from his waistband, he lets out a tiny groan in annoyance. As quickly as it came it goes away as my hand travels up his shirt and lands on his soft nipples.

He tries to say something and I pinch his nipple between my thumb and index finger and slightly massage the bud, I can feel his breath becoming heavier and his dick growing with each slight movement I make. I decide to take it further and move my knee farther between his legs and rub my knee on his crotch. Apparently he likes the friction seeing as he shudders under me.

I’m usually a sub but sometimes dominating over someone so  _ powerful  _ like Captain Levi is so… hot. Feeling his skin start to sweat and him tremble under my touches - almost as if begging for more. I then move my head right onto the small patch of skin between his neck and shoulder and bite, hard. I slowly suck on his, now, ripe skin and after a good minute I release his skin and run my tongue over it slowly - taking in this small moment of sensuality.

I slowly and softly move my lips farther along his neck up to his jawline and stop just before I reach his lips. I rub my hands down his thighs and push my head towards his ear before whispering, “Try harder next time  _ sir. _ ” I then push off and go outside leaving him against the wall. He doesn’t chase me and I feel like I’ve won.

**3rd Person POV:**

It was an awkward few days after the ‘incident’ and Levi was frustrated. He hated how weak he got - he made people submit. He was not about to be put on the receiving end. He was thinking of ways to get what he wanted.

Everyone knew he was angry too, you could tell. He beat Eren more than normal and made everyone clean until there wasn’t a speck of dirt in the castle - even in the barn that held the horses.

Meanwhile, Kol was ecstatic he got to control Levi like that but it quickly turned to boredom. He wasn’t turned on by it as much because he wanted Levi to dominate him,  _ forcefully.  _ He was getting bored talking to people and cleaning and just wanted something to happen.

**Kol’s POV:**

I sat in the mess hall bored listening to my friends argue and occasionally when it got too loud I just gave everyone a good, ‘shut the fuck up’ look and things calmed down. I had nothing to do except train and I didn’t think I’d ever get bored with training, yet here we are. The only thing I was looking forward to was the upcoming exterior scouting mission. Too bad it was in 3 days.

3 days to train, 3 more days of absolute fucking boredom.

All the while, I couldn’t stop thinking about Levi. I’m a little upset that the incident with Levi a few days ago didn’t turn me on as much as it first had. Well, that was until I imagined our roles reversed. If he was pushing me against the wall and softly touching my body while leaving harsh hickies and bruises around my body.

I get hard just thinking about it. I want to make him so angry he destroys me. It’s been days and this little waiting game is getting old. If he doesn’t take charge himself, then I’ll force his hand. And luckily I wasn’t the only one in my friend group who was horny as hell.

Eren had been trying to get my attention the past day with shit like stroking my upper thigh and making sure to be shirtless around me. It was hot - I won’t lie, but it was nothing compared to what Levi makes me feel like. Still though, fucking Eren is a no-strings attached sort of thing so if he fucks me then maybe Levi will be so pissed off he decides I need to be taught a lesson.

My dick starts to hurt from the constricting confines of my jeans thinking of Levi whipping me and then choking me while thrusting in and out of me with loud slaps and moans filling the air. The thought of him hovering over me with my legs on his shoulders and the feeling of his dick inside me is euphoric.

I decided I had enough waiting so I walked over to Eren. “I’ll be at your room at 9.” I make sure to look back at him so he sees the prominent lust in my eyes. He returns it just as strong and I chuckle inwardly. This will be fun.

Levi will get angry. As he should, because I’m not dumb of course I know he was trying to make me jealous with that bimbo bitch and if he wants to play it that way then I will come back just as hard. And yes it’s not bad to sleep with Eren because Levi and I aren’t together, and almost everyone fucks in the corps at one point or another - except Levi. He is a virgin. He’s never said it or mentioned it but I lived Underground just like him for most of my life, thus knowing a lot about his life. And not in a creepy way, a lot of people knew the surface level stuff of “the man who saw the sky.” but I knew more than most because he was - no,  _ is  _ \- my aspiration.

Anyways, because of the fact growing up I knew all about his childhood, I know that he’s waiting for the first time to be perfect. And I want to be the one who he experiences it with.

It may not seem like it but I want to be with Levi, fully, not just occasionally fuck buddies, but someone who will stay by me. He may not show emotion but I know he has so much more than most people will ever get the chance to see. I just hope he wants me the same way I want him and maybe, just maybe, let me in. I want to be his home. I want to be  _ his.  _ Because I think I’m in love with him. But I’m not ready to feel love again -  _ yet,  _ so for now it’s just a ‘crush’ I guess.

I will make Levi jealous.

I will make Levi put me in my place.


	9. Jealousy Part II

**Kol’s POV:**

Today has been stressful and the whole time I’ve been getting ready to fuck Eren, I can’t stop thinking about the visions. I don’t understand what the hell happened to me. It was like I was watching the end of the fucking world.

Why were there so many people dead? Why was Historia in so much pain? Where was everyone when it was just me and Levi? These questions ring through my head on a constant loop causing me to tense up and become anxious. I stop in my tracks and take a deep breath in. I push all thoughts of that weird vision out of my head and focus on Levi.

Levi. I wish he would be with me tonight instead of Eren. I wish his soft tongue could explore my mouth. But, we aren’t there yet. Someday soon I’ll be with him, I know it. Levi is the best thing that’s happened to me in years. I thought my life was over when everyone I loved died, but the only thing that keeps me going is Levi. I need him in my life.

I loved him even before I knew what love felt like. I’ll make sure that he is always safe. I will never let him get hurt, I love him too much. The same is for everyone else I love. I will do whatever is necessary to keep the people I love safe, even if it means hurting myself in the process.

No one deserves to go through the shit I went through when I was younger. I will see the world for myself, with Levi. I need to see it. We all deserve to travel the world.

I gather my thoughts as I step outside and stand for a second. I begin to walk around the castle and watch as the sun begins to set. I left dinner early after telling Eren I’ll see him at 9. As I walk I see Levi looking down at me through his window. I face him and bite my lip then walk away. I want him to fuck me senseless against his desk, but I guess I’ll have to make him jealous first.

It starts getting close to 9 so I head down towards Eren’s room and slip inside as he’s currently sitting shirtless on his bed with just jeans and boxers on. I lick my lips in anticipation and walk forward, catching his attention. He looks at me and fuck he looks good right now. His hair is a mess but it makes him look all the more sexy.

I stand by the end of the bed watching as Eren walks up to me slowly. The room is dim from the only source of light being candlelight. He stalks toward me and softly puts his hands on my waist. He rubs his thumbs in circles and leans down to my ear. “What a fucking whore,” he whispers in my ear, sending shivers down my spine.

I tilt my head back and face him just enough to take in his minty fresh breath and soft lips. I lean forward and catch his lips in a passionate kiss. He bites my bottom lip, causing me to let out a soft moan. As soon as my mouth opens, he slides his salivated tongue in my mouth. Our tongues fight for dominance but in the end, I lose. He parts from me slowly, leaving a trail of saliva from my mouth to his. He smirks and grabs my waist harder and throws me on the bed forcefully.

I hit the bed and watch him practically jump on top of me, pinning my arms down. He rips off my shirt and trails his fingers up my torso. I look into his eyes and bite my lip. This small gesture causes him to growl and attack my neck. He bites down hard at the base of my neck and I moan. I feel his teeth puncturing my skin and his powerful sucking as he marks me. “Fuck Eren,” I moan softly.

He releases my neck and licks over the newly formed bruise making me gasp at the tingly sensation. He hovers over me and grabs a switchblade from behind his pocket and slowly slides the blade down my chest and past my muscle until he reaches my jeans. He cuts the button off the jeans and slowly pulls down the zipper with his teeth. I shudder in pleasure as my jeans are removed and he slips his tongue across my clothed erection.

“Eren. Fuck.” I moan as he sucks lightly on my covered cock. I feel him smirk against my dick and watch him as he slowly reaches the tip of my boxers and pulls them down with his teeth, agonizingly slow.

When my boxers fall to my mid thighs, he grasps my cock harshly causing me to let out a loud moan. He licks up my length like an ice cream cone and kisses the tip each time he does so. After a minute or so, he quickly wraps his lips around my tip, swirling his tongue. I try to thrust my hips up so he’ll take more of me in his warm mouth, but he puts his hands firmly on my hips, holding me down.

I groan from the teasing sensation of his tongue lapping my precum at the tip. He hears me and slows down even more. All of a sudden he shoves his head down to the base of my cock, taking all 7 inches of me in his mouth. I feel my tip rub against the back of his throat and he begins to hum, sending vibrations through my cock. I moan loudly and tangle my fingers in his hair, holding him at the base of my dick.

He begins to bob his head up and down slowly, before gradually increasing his speed. I grunt and begin to fuck his face. I moan loud and then he pulls off me, with a pop as his mouth releases my dick.

I growl in frustration and pin him down on the bed. I take no time at all ripping his clothes off and grabbing his swollen member tight. He shudders and looks at me in the eyes with those beautiful ocean eyes.

I drift my eyes down to his beautiful penis. I take a finger and slowly drift it up and down the vein on the underside of his cock. He vshudders in pleasure and lets out a large gasp which I soak up with pride.

I take the tip of my tongue and gently swirl it around the tip of his cock. I moan in delight as the taste of his sweet precum enters my lips. I look up at him as I begin to flick my tongue across his tip, lapping up all of his delicious nut.

He looks down at me with his lips parted and beads of sweat dripping down his forehead. I stop and begin to place kisses all around his thighs while occasionally biting which causes him to let even more sweet moans out.

I finish with my kisses and hover above his rock hard dick. I just stare up at him as he has his head tilted back in pure ecstasy.

I smirk and quickly shove my head all the way down his dick. He moans my name as I begin to bob up and down on his 8 inch dick. I go agonizingly slow, as payback for teasing me. He grunts and grabs my hair harshly causing me to let out a moan on his dick.

He grunts loudly in response from the vibrations I’m sending through his body. He begins to shove my head up and down forcefully, causing my throat to hurt from the constant force of his dick hitting the back up my mouth. He shudders and pulls me off. I crawl towards his lips and catch them in a rough kiss. I share the taste of his precum with him and he sucks on my tongue harshly.

He then flips me and makes a trail of light kisses as he moves down my body to my inner thighs. He looks up at me through his dark eyelashes and makes me roll onto my stomach. He grabs my ass and lifts it up in the air. He quickly takes his middle and index finger and shove them in my mouth, “Suck.” I do as I’m told and when he’s satisfied he pulls them out. I wait and am about to look back to see what’s taking so long when I feel a long finger enter my ass.

I moan his name and he begins to thrust his finger in and out of me. He starts to curl his finger in me, looking for my special spot. He shoves another finger in and with another solid shove, he hits my prostate. I let out a mixture of a yelp and a moan. He starts to keep hitting that spot over and over again until he pulls his fingers out. I whimper from the loss of being fingered. I quickly gasp when he shoves his dick in,  _ hard. _

He starts slow, trying to find my prostate. He hits it and I let out the loudest moan I have all night. He begins to thrust hard in that spot, over and over again. I can feel myself coming close and he rolls me on my back again, taking my leaking dick into his hand. He begins to pump to the pace of his thrusts. With one final pump I reach my orgasm, “FUCK EREN.” I cum all over his hand and he continues to pump me, riding out my orgasm as my cum leaks onto my stomach.

He begins to thrust harder from the tightening of my walls as I clamped down on his dick when I came. He starts talking dirty to me and I lay there in absolute bliss. “Fuck Kol, you’re so fucking tight.” “What a fucking slut.” He looks me in the eyes, his eyes filled with lust and shoves his cum covered fingers toward me. “Lick.” I grab his hand and shove his fingers in my mouth, lapping up all of my cum from his fingers. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, ugh.” He nuts in my ass, I feel his warm seed fill me as he continues to thrust into me, riding out his orgasm as well.

Once he’s done he pulls out of me and just lays down next to me, pulling me into his chest. He kisses me slowly and then we find ourselves drifting off to sleep, the room smelling of sex.

\--

**Levi’s POV:**

I wake up with a groan and head downstairs. I don’t care that I look a mess because today we don’t have training.

I pass by Kol’s room and see his door open, I walk in and see he’s not there. I clench my jaw already knowing that he’s in somebody elses fucking room. I slam his door shut and walk down the hallway checking in every room.

I finally get to Jaeger's room and bust in. I see an asleep, naked Eren holding an awake, naked Kol. Kol looks at me and smirks. I tighten my fists as he begins to speak, “Did I make you jealous Captain? I’m sorry. You know I want to be with you anyways, so why do you take so long to make me  _ yours? _ ” He emphasises ‘yours’ and I calm down and look right back at him.

“You will be mine,  _ cadet. _ And when the time comes, I’m going to fuck you till you pass out.” I stalk over towards him and lean down and clutch his throat. He wheezes but looks at me with lust.

I skim my lips over his and gently towards his ear. “ _ You’ve been such a bad boy Kol… Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re punished accordingly. _ ” I whisper into his ear. He shivers as I lick his ear lobe and nibble on it softly. Just as he begins to give me access to his neck, I let go of him and walk straight out of the room, not looking back.

I hear a small pound on the wall and smirk to myself.

I will have Kol on his knees.

I will have Kol on his knees, begging.


	10. Never Let Me Go

**Kol’s POV:**

It’s been one week since the 62nd exterior reconnaissance mission. It went well, but as usual - nothing was accomplished. Now that I’m back it’s been quiet and everyone has been relaxing - we only lost a few soldiers, but the atmosphere was still heavy from the losses.

Me though, I was focusing on training again. This time I’m not practicing physical training but emotional and mental training. It’s important to keep your emotions in check and think with a clear, rational mind when you’re fighting. If feelings cloud your judgment then people die. There’s nothing else to it.

Today we departed from Calanath District and are heading towards Utopia district to the North of Wall Rose. We are going for the simple task of guarding Annie Leonhart’s Female Titan before we begin the journey to Shiganshina. Usually a few scouts handle this but today marks the 1 year anniversary of Eren defeating Annie in Stohess district. And that brings us to why the scouts haven’t reclaimed Wall Maria yet.

Well at first when we went we were shocked by the storm of titans so we couldn’t make it to Wall Maria. That’s when we decided it would be best to get rid of the titans with our new technology and Eren’s titan powers before heading to Shiganshina. We succeeded there were scarcely any titans anymore and in 3 days time we would be heading to Wall Maria, where I no doubt suspect Reiner, Bertholdt, and that hairy titan to be waiting for us.

Either way I was going to make sure that I talked to Annie again. Armin talks to her everytime we go because they have some kind of connection. I talk to Annie because me and her were closer than others she was normally around. The shock and anger I had when I found out she was the Female Titan was outrageous.

I wouldn’t stop trying to crack her crystallized bubble for hours. I demanded answers, I wanted to know why she did what she did. It’s safe to assume I’ll never get the answers I’m looking for.

Anyways, soon we will be arriving in Utopia District and I will get the chance to see her at least one more time, seeing as I could die when I arrive at Shiganshina. I’m not important like Eren or Levi or Erwin, etc. I’m expendable and even though people won’t say it, I’m not special and if the need for me to give my life comes, I will do it in a heartbeat. I’m not a suicidal maniac like Eren but I knew what I signed up for when I joined the scouts. If I die, I die. End of story.

**Levi’s POV:**

I ride horseback next to Eren, Mikasa, and Kol. We arrive in Utopia District shortly and I have a lot on my mind. Namely, Kol. I may not like the feeling but I know what love feels like. I’m angry over the fact I love Kol. He  _ had  _ to be a soldier. He could die at any time and I’d have to feel another loss all over again, this one hurting deeper than most others.

I glance over at Kol and can’t help the growing gut feeling I have that something is wrong. There’s no point in worrying about it now though, I’ll have to deal with it when we arrive. Speaking of, we see Utopia now. We should be there anytime now.

I look at Eren who looks determined as always, Mikasa who’s watching Eren closely as usual, and I look at Kol again and notice he looks troubled. I’ll have to confront him about that tonight.

\--

**Kol’s POV:**

We arrived at Utopia District moments ago and we’re currently setting our stuff down for the next few nights in the barracks near the outermost wall. I head to the mess hall late and watch as everyone seems to finally be having a better time, the weight of loss not weighing as much right now. I let out a small smile and sit down next to Connie who keeps fighting with Sasha over the fact she didn’t break the steamed potato in half, she broke it unevenly.  _ Stupid. _

I face forward and join in on the conversation going on between my comrades, adding in every once in a while. “Shut the fuck up horse face, no one’s talking to you.” Eren says harshly. Jean gets up and I already know where this is going but to be honest, I don’t care.

They need to pick their battles and if they need to lash out at eachother then they can do that right here, right now. If it gets too heated I’ll deal with it but for now I’ll just sit back and let their dumbasses work shit out.

Mikasa starts to walk over but I grab her arm. She turns around and glares, only to realize it’s me. She looks at me with confusion etched on her face, seeing as I was usually the one who broke up their fights. “Let them get it out of their system. If it gets too intense we can deal with that later. Eren will heal anyway.” I reply with a shrug. She looks conflicted but then sits back down but still watching the fight intensely.

A few minutes pass by and they start to calm down so I slowly get up and make my way over to them. I stand in the middle and grab Eren’s hair, yanking him back and holding him up. I grab Jean’s shirt and hold him up on my opposite side. As they shut up I begin talking, “Both of you need to calm the fuck down. No one is in the mood for your bullshit.” With that I take turns looking them both in the eye and nodding, making sure I get a nod back.

“Glad we’re in agreement. Now eat your food and get ready for bed.” I finish with yanking Eren to the floor by his hair and throwing Jean to the ground by his shirt. I notice blood on my hands, “Disgusting.” I walk away and go to the sink where I wash my hands thoroughly, watching the red water swirl down the drain.

Levi walks next to me as I dry my hands. “What’s going on, cadet? You’ve been looking shitty the whole day.” I roll my eyes and just lean against the counter and sigh.

“Nothing, I’m just thinking about things that I probably shouldn’t be thinking about.” I respond in a dampened tone.

**Levi’s POV:**

I move closer to Kol and ask, “What things?” I feel a tiny bit of worry seeing him so down, it makes me fucking sick thinking like this.

He moves toward me but hesitates and just clears his throat before saying, “I actually have to go shower before bed. Talk later yeah?” I nod my head confused and slightly irritated as he walks away hurriedly.

I clench my jaw in anger and begin to follow him before I decide it’s a bad idea and that I should just take my time making sure that everything is prepared for tomorrow. I have an intense hatred for the female titan. She killed my squad. Petra, Orou, Gunther, Eld. Every single one of them was killed in cold blood.

I want Annie to wake up. I want to know why she killed all these people so mercilessly. Why did she want Eren? What was her end goal? I push the thoughts out of my head knowing that these unanswered questions would only bring me more pain. And the last thing I can afford right now is to be dwelling on the past.

**Kol’s POV:**

Jesus fucking christ. I was so close to just straight fucking kissing Levi earlier. I know that I’m usually lustful but I didn’t just want sex right then. I wanted that kiss to mean something but I got fucking scared and ruined my chance.

I sigh and run the shower as I begin to get undressed. I stand in the shower for what feels like ages thinking about how much I want to just be with Levi. I’ve never felt this way about anyone or anything before in my life and it’s scary to say that I’m afraid that he might not reciprocate my love.

It started out as lust and a small crush but turned into full blown love and now I want nothing more than to reach beyond the walls and finally get the peace I need so desperately. But I want to start a life with Levi. I want to go far beyond the walls and see the world that I thought for so long was beyond reach.

I used to think I’d never see the sky and then I’d never see beyond the walls but now, every day I get closer and closer to seeing the outside world. I want to see it with Levi. I  _ have  _ to see it with Levi.

I get a spontaneous burst of motivation and jump out of the shower, drying up. I grab my casual clothes and bolt to Levi’s room. I stop outside and take a deep breath. I raise my hand and knock twice waiting for a response.

**Levi’s POV:**

I had headed back to my room after Kol left and was a tad bit upset that he just left like that. I pushed those thoughts away though and began to work on some paperwork for Erwin.

I stand up and stretch when I hear a knock come from my office door. Curious, I walk over and open it to see Kol standing there looking nervous as fuck. I scrunch my eyebrows together and look at him with a puzzled expression on my face.

“Levi you’re what’s wrong. I want you. I need you.” Kol says and I widen my eyes in surprise and feel my heartbeat against my ribcage - easily going over 100 mph.

“It’s alway been you Levi.” I open my mouth in shock when he quickly eans in and grabs me by the back of my neck. He slowly comes closer until his soft lips land on mine. I kiss back with passion. You can feel the emotion and need in our kiss and it’s beautiful. We eventually pull away from each other needing air and stare at each other.

I direct my stare down towards his lips and before I know what’s going on, I wrap my hands around his waist and smash my lips on his with force. He wraps his arms around my neck as if on instinct and we stand there in pure bliss.

I bite down lightly on his bottom lip and he opens up his mouth in a low moan. I take that opportunity to place my tongue against his and slowly move around his mouth. My tongue brushes against one spot and he gasps making me smile slightly. He pulls away leaving a strand of saliva hanging between our lips, only inches apart.

He looks into my eyes and I stare right back at his.  _ Gorgeous. _ I open the door and pull us in before shutting and locking the door behind me.

He pulls away and looks hesitant, “Levi, I don’t want our time together to always be spent with lust. I want something real with you.” He walks back over and holds my hand in his while continuing to talk, “I want to be with you… fully. I want  _ you.,  _ Levi.” He breathes heavily before continuing, “I am so tired of pretending I don’t want you. Levi you’re the best thing that’s happened to me in so long and I can’t let you go - Ever.”

Kol stares at me nervously with his teeth biting the top left corner of his bottom lip in angst. I stand there for a second, not moving at all and then place my lips on his and whisper, “I want  _ you,  _ Kol. It’s always been you.” He smiles into the kiss and soon we find our way to the bed.

Kol whispers lightly against my lips, eyes looking into my own, “Never let me go Levi.” I look back at his eyes and reply in an almost inaudible whisper, “I’ll never let you go Kol.”

I want Kol.

I need Kol.


End file.
